Victor Bristol (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pulledunder) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
zenderael_rl2013-09-18 10:25 am
pulledunder) wrote in zenderael_rl2013-09-18 10:25 am
Entry tags:
[Zachary/Victor] - Players
Who: Zach and Victor
When: Sunday, September 18
Where: Zach/Nayan's place
Before/After: --
Warnings: n/a!
In which Zachary looks for a little advice on players.
Zach sat in at the table in the small kitchen, sipping his tea. The house was smaller than the one in Stonecaster, but he had made sure to have a spare room in case Victor ever needed it, and Nayan had been pretty relaxed about what sort of place they'd found. Zach had made sure to find one located at the edge of the Nenakret, mostly to avoid the busier parts of the city, but some small part of him did wonder if Nayan, or Victor, would ever need to sneak in, and it would be easier to do so further out from the main streets.
He appreciated Victor coming over. Zach had a lot on his mind lately, and though he did try to keep himself busy with the little clinic he'd opened, ranting space in one of the Earth office buildings, he wanted someone to talk to about it, and it most certainly couldn't be Nayan.
He didn't bring it up right away, though. Neel was being a pest for the first part of the visit, bothering Victor until Zach dug out some aruga for him to eat, after which he curled up on the table for a nap. Zach watched him, half-smile on his face.
He looked to Victor and his expression changed to something between thoughtful curiosity and seriousness.
"You get along with your player?" he asked, prying, trying to lead into what he wanted to talk about.
Despite the rocky past, visiting Zachary had fallen into a feeling of normalcy. If Victor didn't think on betrayals and exiles (which, unfortunately, he often did), the situation almost seemed to be a natural growth of what might have happened if there had been stability from the start. Somehow, life had found a way, and it was easy for him to slip into old behaviors. He didn't mind Neel's neediness, and listened attentively to everything about the clinic. He was quieter, perhaps a little more than usual, but only because he wanted to let Zach lead the conversations. Victor's smiles were frequent and, now and then, a little proud.
Until the topic changed. Victor had relaxed in his chair, sipping at tea, then choked on it with a cough as it went down the wrong tube. The sensation made it worse, reminding him vividly of being in Rhys' body and trying to eat for the first time.
Only once the fit had stopped enough to speak clearly did Victor try to answer. "Er, yeah. For the most part." He frowned. "Is this about the fight with Nayan? I know I got a little out of hand..."
Zach watched Victor with concern when he started coughing, but gave him time to recover. He couldn't very well jump to action every time someone started to choke or stubbed their toe or such, but that didn't alleviate the worry he felt when it did happen.
He relaxed once Victor was able to speak again, and shook his head at the question. "No, it's... I'm just curious about how you got along. Initially, I mean. How you met." He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to know, and it came across in how he spoke.
His brow creased and he leaned forward, arms folding on the table. "I got a letter," he started, thinking it might help if Victor knew why he was asking. "From my player. He says he's my player, anyway."
Victor paused, turning thoughtful. "It's a different context," he said after a moment. "We came in contact just as all of this was becoming known, and while people were still able to be controlled." Victor looked back to Zachary. "He wrote me first, but I can't say I cared beyond what it meant except in what the dangers were at first."
How they became actually, dare he think it, friends was based in more personal details than Victor was willing to divulge. Loneliness, essentially, and the need to try and speak to someone who would care unconditionally, and who understood exactly all that had happened and why without needing an explanation.
He got up from his chair and paced idly as he sorted his thoughts. Players and their creations often shared such similarity. What would Zachary's be like? Sometimes it was something overt, like maybe a person who was uncertain with himself, or something more subtle...
"What did the letter say? Well-- you don't have to tell me." It was a personal thing for everyone, wasn't it? "The important thing is how you feel about it."
Zach listened, intent on Victor's expression and movements, trying to figure out how Victor felt about the whole thing. He wasn't very good at reading people, unfortunately, not even his own brother. Maybe he'd never really tried to learn- it had been difficult during the year Victor had been gone, and then the drama after his return, and then finding out things were so... weird...
He let out a sigh and looked down at his hands, folding them in front of him, brows creasing. He had no idea what his player meant to him. So this guy knew... probably everything about him before he 'woke up', but nothing about who he was now. It was different context. He didn't have the need of anyone to help him out during the learning process of the merge- not that he'd have accepted it if his player had written earlier.
"I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, it took him this long to write to me. He didn't even think to check up on me." He paused, frowning. "Well, I mean, I guess he did, since he apparently was still controlling that druid that helped you break me out..." Which was actually kind of disconcerting, knowing that a stranger had been keeping tabs on his life, and not knowing for how long...
"He said she didn't mind, though. Which means he gets along with her, I guess?" He glanced up at Victor, brows still creased as he tried to puzzle out his feelings. "I'm not really sure if that's a good thing but I guess it would be, since he's the Vohu now? Being able to get along with his guild members, I mean."
"She may not mind," Victor said, "But what about you?" Only each person got to decide how they felt about their players, and Victor's own less popular opinion had him feeling guarded. But just because someone being used to check up on another didn't mind, didn't mean Zachary couldn't mind the dishonesty about who was doing it and why.
"It's not a matter of judgment," he said quickly. "It's..." He fell silent, brow furrowed before he relaxed and looked back at Zachary. "Us and our players... It's not always even. They know about us in ways we won't ever know them. If you want to keep contact with yours, you have to let him know what your boundaries are. What you think is and isn't an okay use of that knowledge."
Saying it out loud made Victor feel he sounded a little more experienced than he was. There had been more than a few times articulating his problems to Rhys hadn't exactly gone as planned. Or at all. But it found a way to all work out in the end.
That brought up a whole slew of things Zach hadn't considered. Mostly he'd just been trying to figure out how he felt about his player writing to him at all, never mind him being a guild leader, and also being that druid woman's player.
"I don't even know what ways he could use what he knows. I mean, the only indication he used anything he knew was when he helped get me out of being executed, and I can't really say I mind that at all." Even if it was done dishonestly, and for selfish reasons. Perhaps a part of it was liking the idea that the guy had cared enough to want to make sure he got out.
"Other than that I just... don't know what there would be there? If that makes any sense..."
"It makes perfect sense," Victor said. His feelings, initially, had been similar. What did all this mean? What did the connections matter? To Victor, they did, eventually. But they didn't have to for everyone. Victor made himself sit back down, trying to calm his own fidgeting, and wrapped his fingers around his tea.
"You don't have to know, I think." Certainly not right away. "If he'll respect you taking it at your own pace, that's what matters." Many did, as far as Victor could tell. There were exceptions. Acher. Alex. But Zachary wasn't the kind of person who could be remotely described as dangerous.
If they didn't respect it, that was another situation entirely, but not one to worry about until it was happening.
"I guess knowing he seems at least interested is something?" He had to admit, knowing the guy was out there had gotten him curious. But part of him felt guilty for that curiosity, because of how Nayan felt about players. "And most of his letter was apologizing for things, so I mean, he feels bad." Assuming the guy was telling the truth, anyway, but Zach couldn't think of any reason to lie about it.
He grew more serious, frowning again as he fidgeted with his tea cup, running his fingers up and down the handle. "What do I tell Nayan?" He felt guilty for having hidden it from Nayan in the first place. Keeping it from him, if Zach did decide to write back, felt even worse...
Victor made his best effort to hide his scowl, but had to look down just to be sure. It seemed this was more what this was about at its heart. Nayan certainly disliked players quite a bit, but at least he had given a little on Victor's own feelings.
He looked back up and met Zachary in the eye. "If Nayan's serious about you, he'll let you deal with this the way you decide you want to deal with it."
And if he didn't... It was another one of things not to think about until later.
Zach had to assume Nayan was serious, since they'd bought a house together. But that didn't help ward off the worry that Nayan would throw a fit when he found out. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to do about it, but if it involved trying to get to know the guy, he didn't have high hopes for Nayan letting him deal with it.
He let out a sigh. He still didn't know what to tell Nayan, but whatever happened, at least Victor would be around to talk to if he needed it. "I'll talk to him tonight, I guess." The sooner he got Nayan's reaction, the better.
"That's all you can do for now," Victor said, but he frowned at Zachary's tone. It wasn't a hopeful one. "If it's important to you, you can't just drop it, all right?" Now that this had started and couldn't be stopped cleanly, Victor did want it to work, but he definitely didn't want it to work by Zachary being so accommodating that he quietly let his own needs dwindle away. Strictly speaking, that didn't fit the definition of working anyway.
"Just... trust yourself about this. I don't think any of us can answer for anyone else."
Zach nodded slowly, glancing from his hands back to Victor. He had no idea how important this was, but... Important enough that he was asking questions about how to deal with it, at least. If he did decide to try to talk to the guy, maybe get to know him, it would be preferable to have Nayan on his side for support, but he'd settle for just putting up with it, he supposed.
He was also curious about that druid. His player had made her, too, and while they hadn't really gotten along, she had been helpful. But how much of that had been her and how much of it had been his player...?
Maybe after talking to Nayan he could figure out what to do next. Consult with Victor again, if he needed to. Maybe Ravindra would have something to add. Nayan first, though. One step at a time, and all.
He smiled, nodding more firmly, determination setting in. "All right. Did you want more tea?"
Victor would have to make it, if he did... Stupid stoves.
When: Sunday, September 18
Where: Zach/Nayan's place
Before/After: --
Warnings: n/a!
In which Zachary looks for a little advice on players.
Zach sat in at the table in the small kitchen, sipping his tea. The house was smaller than the one in Stonecaster, but he had made sure to have a spare room in case Victor ever needed it, and Nayan had been pretty relaxed about what sort of place they'd found. Zach had made sure to find one located at the edge of the Nenakret, mostly to avoid the busier parts of the city, but some small part of him did wonder if Nayan, or Victor, would ever need to sneak in, and it would be easier to do so further out from the main streets.
He appreciated Victor coming over. Zach had a lot on his mind lately, and though he did try to keep himself busy with the little clinic he'd opened, ranting space in one of the Earth office buildings, he wanted someone to talk to about it, and it most certainly couldn't be Nayan.
He didn't bring it up right away, though. Neel was being a pest for the first part of the visit, bothering Victor until Zach dug out some aruga for him to eat, after which he curled up on the table for a nap. Zach watched him, half-smile on his face.
He looked to Victor and his expression changed to something between thoughtful curiosity and seriousness.
"You get along with your player?" he asked, prying, trying to lead into what he wanted to talk about.
Despite the rocky past, visiting Zachary had fallen into a feeling of normalcy. If Victor didn't think on betrayals and exiles (which, unfortunately, he often did), the situation almost seemed to be a natural growth of what might have happened if there had been stability from the start. Somehow, life had found a way, and it was easy for him to slip into old behaviors. He didn't mind Neel's neediness, and listened attentively to everything about the clinic. He was quieter, perhaps a little more than usual, but only because he wanted to let Zach lead the conversations. Victor's smiles were frequent and, now and then, a little proud.
Until the topic changed. Victor had relaxed in his chair, sipping at tea, then choked on it with a cough as it went down the wrong tube. The sensation made it worse, reminding him vividly of being in Rhys' body and trying to eat for the first time.
Only once the fit had stopped enough to speak clearly did Victor try to answer. "Er, yeah. For the most part." He frowned. "Is this about the fight with Nayan? I know I got a little out of hand..."
Zach watched Victor with concern when he started coughing, but gave him time to recover. He couldn't very well jump to action every time someone started to choke or stubbed their toe or such, but that didn't alleviate the worry he felt when it did happen.
He relaxed once Victor was able to speak again, and shook his head at the question. "No, it's... I'm just curious about how you got along. Initially, I mean. How you met." He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to know, and it came across in how he spoke.
His brow creased and he leaned forward, arms folding on the table. "I got a letter," he started, thinking it might help if Victor knew why he was asking. "From my player. He says he's my player, anyway."
Victor paused, turning thoughtful. "It's a different context," he said after a moment. "We came in contact just as all of this was becoming known, and while people were still able to be controlled." Victor looked back to Zachary. "He wrote me first, but I can't say I cared beyond what it meant except in what the dangers were at first."
How they became actually, dare he think it, friends was based in more personal details than Victor was willing to divulge. Loneliness, essentially, and the need to try and speak to someone who would care unconditionally, and who understood exactly all that had happened and why without needing an explanation.
He got up from his chair and paced idly as he sorted his thoughts. Players and their creations often shared such similarity. What would Zachary's be like? Sometimes it was something overt, like maybe a person who was uncertain with himself, or something more subtle...
"What did the letter say? Well-- you don't have to tell me." It was a personal thing for everyone, wasn't it? "The important thing is how you feel about it."
Zach listened, intent on Victor's expression and movements, trying to figure out how Victor felt about the whole thing. He wasn't very good at reading people, unfortunately, not even his own brother. Maybe he'd never really tried to learn- it had been difficult during the year Victor had been gone, and then the drama after his return, and then finding out things were so... weird...
He let out a sigh and looked down at his hands, folding them in front of him, brows creasing. He had no idea what his player meant to him. So this guy knew... probably everything about him before he 'woke up', but nothing about who he was now. It was different context. He didn't have the need of anyone to help him out during the learning process of the merge- not that he'd have accepted it if his player had written earlier.
"I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, it took him this long to write to me. He didn't even think to check up on me." He paused, frowning. "Well, I mean, I guess he did, since he apparently was still controlling that druid that helped you break me out..." Which was actually kind of disconcerting, knowing that a stranger had been keeping tabs on his life, and not knowing for how long...
"He said she didn't mind, though. Which means he gets along with her, I guess?" He glanced up at Victor, brows still creased as he tried to puzzle out his feelings. "I'm not really sure if that's a good thing but I guess it would be, since he's the Vohu now? Being able to get along with his guild members, I mean."
"She may not mind," Victor said, "But what about you?" Only each person got to decide how they felt about their players, and Victor's own less popular opinion had him feeling guarded. But just because someone being used to check up on another didn't mind, didn't mean Zachary couldn't mind the dishonesty about who was doing it and why.
"It's not a matter of judgment," he said quickly. "It's..." He fell silent, brow furrowed before he relaxed and looked back at Zachary. "Us and our players... It's not always even. They know about us in ways we won't ever know them. If you want to keep contact with yours, you have to let him know what your boundaries are. What you think is and isn't an okay use of that knowledge."
Saying it out loud made Victor feel he sounded a little more experienced than he was. There had been more than a few times articulating his problems to Rhys hadn't exactly gone as planned. Or at all. But it found a way to all work out in the end.
That brought up a whole slew of things Zach hadn't considered. Mostly he'd just been trying to figure out how he felt about his player writing to him at all, never mind him being a guild leader, and also being that druid woman's player.
"I don't even know what ways he could use what he knows. I mean, the only indication he used anything he knew was when he helped get me out of being executed, and I can't really say I mind that at all." Even if it was done dishonestly, and for selfish reasons. Perhaps a part of it was liking the idea that the guy had cared enough to want to make sure he got out.
"Other than that I just... don't know what there would be there? If that makes any sense..."
"It makes perfect sense," Victor said. His feelings, initially, had been similar. What did all this mean? What did the connections matter? To Victor, they did, eventually. But they didn't have to for everyone. Victor made himself sit back down, trying to calm his own fidgeting, and wrapped his fingers around his tea.
"You don't have to know, I think." Certainly not right away. "If he'll respect you taking it at your own pace, that's what matters." Many did, as far as Victor could tell. There were exceptions. Acher. Alex. But Zachary wasn't the kind of person who could be remotely described as dangerous.
If they didn't respect it, that was another situation entirely, but not one to worry about until it was happening.
"I guess knowing he seems at least interested is something?" He had to admit, knowing the guy was out there had gotten him curious. But part of him felt guilty for that curiosity, because of how Nayan felt about players. "And most of his letter was apologizing for things, so I mean, he feels bad." Assuming the guy was telling the truth, anyway, but Zach couldn't think of any reason to lie about it.
He grew more serious, frowning again as he fidgeted with his tea cup, running his fingers up and down the handle. "What do I tell Nayan?" He felt guilty for having hidden it from Nayan in the first place. Keeping it from him, if Zach did decide to write back, felt even worse...
Victor made his best effort to hide his scowl, but had to look down just to be sure. It seemed this was more what this was about at its heart. Nayan certainly disliked players quite a bit, but at least he had given a little on Victor's own feelings.
He looked back up and met Zachary in the eye. "If Nayan's serious about you, he'll let you deal with this the way you decide you want to deal with it."
And if he didn't... It was another one of things not to think about until later.
Zach had to assume Nayan was serious, since they'd bought a house together. But that didn't help ward off the worry that Nayan would throw a fit when he found out. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to do about it, but if it involved trying to get to know the guy, he didn't have high hopes for Nayan letting him deal with it.
He let out a sigh. He still didn't know what to tell Nayan, but whatever happened, at least Victor would be around to talk to if he needed it. "I'll talk to him tonight, I guess." The sooner he got Nayan's reaction, the better.
"That's all you can do for now," Victor said, but he frowned at Zachary's tone. It wasn't a hopeful one. "If it's important to you, you can't just drop it, all right?" Now that this had started and couldn't be stopped cleanly, Victor did want it to work, but he definitely didn't want it to work by Zachary being so accommodating that he quietly let his own needs dwindle away. Strictly speaking, that didn't fit the definition of working anyway.
"Just... trust yourself about this. I don't think any of us can answer for anyone else."
Zach nodded slowly, glancing from his hands back to Victor. He had no idea how important this was, but... Important enough that he was asking questions about how to deal with it, at least. If he did decide to try to talk to the guy, maybe get to know him, it would be preferable to have Nayan on his side for support, but he'd settle for just putting up with it, he supposed.
He was also curious about that druid. His player had made her, too, and while they hadn't really gotten along, she had been helpful. But how much of that had been her and how much of it had been his player...?
Maybe after talking to Nayan he could figure out what to do next. Consult with Victor again, if he needed to. Maybe Ravindra would have something to add. Nayan first, though. One step at a time, and all.
He smiled, nodding more firmly, determination setting in. "All right. Did you want more tea?"
Victor would have to make it, if he did... Stupid stoves.